#MeToo Story Number 21 - By Anon.

 I was 16 years old, and fresh out of a relationship with someone who was my first everything. I was in no way ready to do anything with anyone. I started talking to this guy who told me he had the same intentions. He just got out of a relationship too and wasn't ready for anything either. One day, during the summer, he asked me to pick him up after practice and he gave me a random address. I drove 20 minutes away to him, picked him up, and he started giving me directions to somewhere I didn't know where we were going. We ended up in a Catholic School parking lot. Remind you this is the middle of the summer, no one to be found around us. I parked the car under the assumption we were going to listen to music and talk. Instead he lures me into the backseat. He told me he had a cramp in his leg and needed room. Not even a minute into us being back there we start kissing. I was uncomfortable but not enough to stop, it was okay. A minute later he forcefully pins me to my backseat and proceeds to touch me. I say no over and over. I wasn't ready. He doesn't listen and holds me down harder. He undresses me and forces himself inside of me, still pinning me down. I scream no, no, no, over and over again. He's bigger than me, stronger than me, I couldn't do anything about it. He raped me. Time froze. I froze. I couldn't move I couldn't scream anymore. He kept going and when he was done after what felt like an eternity, there was blood everywhere. I was still frozen, I couldn't even cry or talk nothing would come out. He saw the blood and immediately asked for me to bring him home. Nothing was said on the ride back. I should have just left him there but I was scared for me life. I dropped him off and immediately called my best friend. Now I was crying. I couldn't even put together words as to what just happened to me. She didn't believe me and is one of the reasons why I blamed myself for the longest time. I know I screamed the word no a million times, I know I didn't consent, and I know I didn't want it. But something inside me after that conversation with her just said it was my fault. To this day I still have flashbacks. My sexual assault has made it so hard to love and trust a new lover. It's gotten better, but this will always be a part of me. A year after being raped, I finally spoke out. After a year of blaming myself, I finally told someone. I'm not afraid anymore and I'm starting to overcome it. After reading dozens of stories from other survivors, realizing I'm not alone, I figured it was my turn to speak out.