I have a metoo story. In middle school I was in Spanish class and listening to fellow classmates talking about the sex acts the did. I got up to go to another part of the room and the boy who was talking he pinched my butt without my consent in a sexual way. My brother used to slap and hit my butt as well. I screamed and yelled and cried and told him to stop but he never did. He did that quite often. Now when ever someone does that I feel angry and powerless and extremely frustrated because no matter how much I tell no, they don’t listen.

I finally feel after eight months I can share my story and hopefully I can help other survivors in a similar situation as mine. I was a country girl, raised in the woods and almost always on horseback. I wanted to be a large animal veterinarian for as long as I can remember and I would do anything for my horses. I was a typical horse girl and for seven years I hid what was happening to me on a daily basis. 

I was only twelve years old when I started getting raped. I had been stalked by the same boy since we moved into that neighborhood three years prior. My family thought he was being cute, a little crush on the girl next door and as I grew up and the stalking became more and more violent I learned that if I attempted to tell anyone what was happening I would be ignored or they would laugh it off. “He’s just being sweet!” “Well he is going to grow up to be a gentleman, you should snag him now or you will regret it later!” “What a gentleman! He brought you flowers.” “Stop being mean to him.” Those were things I was told often daily by my family, his family and other adults. Eventually I stopped trying to tell anyone, I didn’t see a point in telling adults because I had been ignored so many times or had been told, “This is what happens to women, get used to it.” I was taught to allow his advances and I did because I had no other way out of it. Soon this behavior grew and grew, becoming worse and worse until finally he did rape me.

He raped me in the dirt in front of the horse pen where my horse was on my parent’s property. I don’t know how long it lasted but I remember being scared and confused, I was only twelve and my mother had never told me anything about sex. He had been rough and I was in some real pain but I kept very quiet about it. I went inside, showered and went about my daily life. This was my life for the next seven years. I was raped once or sometimes even more each day. He grew more violent as we got older and I was often covered in bruises, cuts and I know he even broke several of my ribs. He took videos of my assaults, pictures and he would use those against me. To make matters worse his family was very close with my family so he was often over at our house, to my parents he was the son they never had.

A year ago this all changed, I met someone who has become the mom I never had. This woman took me under her wing and decided on her own she wanted to help me. I have never had anyone before who I felt I could trust and wanted to help. We documented the assaults, the bruises and finally I agreed to get a rape kit done. We were able to get the kit done anonymously so that if I ever want to go and press charges I can. Again it did escalate after this, he kept getting more and more violent and my now adoptive mother asked me to move in with her until we could move to another state. He was now not able to assault me anymore but he did do his best to harass me online. He spread around videos of me, pictures and would send disgusting messages to me with fake accounts.

Now six months after moving from that small town in a small closed minded state I have moved to a state I love, I’m learning how to train detection dogs, living with my adoptive mother who I love dearly and trust her completely and with my adoptive father who I love and trust so much as well. I will never say I’m fully recovered but I will say that I am in a place now that I feel safe, I feel supported and I’m happy for the first time in a long time. It will be a year in January that I will have been freed completely from him and I do struggle with the aftermath. I still have nightmares, I don’t trust many men (even though my adoptive dad has shown me that not all men are bad), I get PTSD episodes but I have a supportive family who would never let anything bad happen to me. I’m getting to grow up and I’m trying to get back all the years he has stolen from me, I’m facing new challenges everyday and I’m slowly becoming a normal happy woman.

Although none of people mentioned in this story did go trough with they’re treats. Still group of people threatened to gang bang me and another guy treated to rape me and my friend as we were walking to our after school club. A girl I considered a friend sexually harassed me and my friends.All of these Incidences were reported to my schools teachers and administrators thought they did nothing to help. I told them that I didn’t want these people getting away with it they assured me it would be handled. These people never got in trouble and everyone told me to get over it though I simply can’t and I feel as if I can’t talk to anyone about it.I am 11 years old.

When I was on holiday in Korea, I got a little too drunk. I was only 19, so I hadn't been able to drink in my country for a long time yet. As a european girl, it was quite clear that I was viewed as more 'easy' than Korean women would be. My best friend was with me, completely sober. I thought this meant that I was safe. I don't remember much of it, just being taken to an alley by a young man in a military uniform. I remember being pushed onto my knees and told to perform oral sex. I started getting sober when I got back to my friend, but I don't know how I got there. I remember telling her nothing happened, because I didn't want her to worry. The next day I realised my knees were brown and bruised and I wasn't wearing a tampon anymore. I vaguely remember seeing the tampon in the corner of the alley. My friend told me my knees were scraped because I feel several times while walking back to the hostel. I don't remember walking back to the hostel, but I remember being on my knees in an alley in the middle of Seoul. The girls in the hostel told me I had made out in a bar with three men. I just sat there wondering why they allowed me to be taken advantage of in that way when I was so drunk I couldn't even walk and then took me to a park where men were able to take me to an alley. I know I was naive and stupid to drink not knowing how much alcohol would make someone drunk, I don't have a grudge against the man who did this, I don't even think of him. I don't know anymore what his face looked like. All I know is that I blame myself for what happened, and I'm never touching alcohol anymore when there are strange men in the same building. This wasn't my first experience with coercion and abuse, but I hope it's the last one.

For approximately 11 years, I was groomed and touched by a man that my family considered a good friend. When a report was finally put in, he got no jail time. I was furious, broken and confused for so long. Today, I was driving past his house and it was being raided by heavily armed police. It brings some comfort to know that he may, finally, be going away. Even if it is only for a while. #MeToo