#MeToo Story Number 9 - By Patricija

In my last year of school I decided to get a driving license. Everything was sort of ok from the beginning. Me and a group of people would go to the driving theory lessons and because I was with a bunch of other people I wouldn't care as much about the sexual jokes that the teacher kept on telling. I just knew that I was feeling really uncomfortable. So I thought that it is all ok. Then, after a week or so we started having one-on-one driving lessons. I tried being positive about the fact that I will have to sit in a car with an older man that I barely knew. With a man who constantly enjoys making me feel uncomfortable being around him. He would always laugh or smile after making nasty jokes even though he could always see that that stuff is not funny to me. One day he asked me to get out of the car and while walking around the car he would ask me questions about it, he would show how the car worked and it felt like a nice practice-learning moment. Or so I thought. I answered the questions correctly and he spanked me. I was in a shook. I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything. I continued going to the lessons even though I always felt unsafe and disgusting. After some time I started having nightmares about him doing even worse things to me. Somehow I felt like I was slowly going insane. I started asking myself constantly all these questions about it. Was it my fault? Was I wearing something revealing? Did I make him feel like it is ok to touch me in this or any other way? I couldn't stand myself anymore so I went to the driving school. He wasn't there this time. His wife was. She worked there with him. I told her that I didn't want to continue learning in their school. She kept asking me why and I couldn't hold all of it in so somehow I just told her everything. I started crying and she kept on whiping away my tears till I calmed down. Then...she asked if it all was just in my head. She didn't believe me and said that maybe I just didn't understand his joke. She made me feel like it wasn't even real. That it didn't even happen. I walked out of the school feeling even worse about myself. Even worse about what happened. When I told my family about it they started asking similar questions. I can't even express how lonely it all made me feel. I still feel like that and I don't know if it will ever change. I am still afraid to see that man in my hometown. I don't know if I will ever feel safe there or anywhere else.