#MeToo Story Number 27 - By Betrayal

It was maybe two months ago. We were dating for a year and a half and we were going through relationship troubles, and on top of that he was very mentally abusive. We fought a lot. We came back to my house after church and I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt. He invited himself into my room. He kissed me, which I had no problem with. But then he started trying to strip me down. I told him no repeatedly. He kept begging me. I kept saying no. Before I knew it, I was laying on my back in my bed, naked as the day I was born, his pants were gone. I tried to push him off of me and kept telling him no. My 5'0 140lb self couldn't get someone 6' something who weight over 100lbs heavier than me, off. I tried so hard. That's when he proceeded to violate me. My mind went blank and I just gave up, I physically couldn't fight back, I only stared at him the entire time. I know it was a short amount of time, but it felt like forever. It hurt me physically and emotionally. When he finished all he could tell me was "I'm sorry, I just love you so much I can't help myself". I've never felt betrayal that awful in my entire life. I had to rearrange my whole room to even feel remotely okay in there again. I still have trouble sleeping in my bed at night. It's embarrassing because I'm 19 and can't sleep in my bed without trouble because I'm scared he'll somehow be able to hurt me again. He broke it off shortly after this for unrelated reasons. I'm super happy my family, friends, and current boyfriend are supportive. This trauma will stick with me forever. I often wish I could have done something, my parents were in the other room when it happened. I hate that he's walking free.